"I just can't pick one...

...so you can never say I'm choosing hoes."

I’ve been thinking about cheating and infidelity for months now.
In fact, I wrote this post back in July, but I was just waiting for the perfect time to publish it.
With the Tiger Woods debacle and the fact that it keeps popping up in my life and/or in the lives of my friends, I think I found my perfect timing opportunity.
As we all know, cheating is an epidemic in these streets, but Im attempting to get to the bottom of it.
Lets go.

Here are a few examples of what my friends and I have been running into:
A) There was a guy "Billy" who was trying to talk to me. It turns out he has a girlfriend, so of course that's not gonna fly. He then tries to talk to my sister of all people (as if I'm not gonna find out) yet, he is still trying to put the moves on me, hard. Then, to make matters worse, we find out he also talked to our best friend back in highschool. Did I mention Billy’s brother also tried to get on me at the same time? Yeah, laughable.

B) My friend, "Clarissa" is dating a great guy. They have been dating for months now and it is getting serious. They see each other nearly everyday and go out all the time. Clarissa finds out this nigga is engaged. smh.

C) My friend, "Mona" is dating a man and they are really feeling each other. They are falling in love and then she finds out he is married with 3 kids. Womp, womp.

All the previous situations are highly egregious and I could go on for days with these cheater, cheater pumpkin eater stories but...

I just don't understand how men do it or better yet, how do they make time for it?
Nigga, I can hardly finish my PowerPoint presentation, write this blogpost and get my daily serving of fruit and vegetables, yet you find the time for two or more "relationships"?
What are your time management techniques, brotha?

They have to know something I don’t, so…

These are my theories on how men find ways to cheat:
1. They have an extra 6 hours in their day, turning the normal 24-hour day into a sexy 30-hour day.
2. They have an evil, more "smooth" twin.
-ex: Kinda like Steve Urkel vs. Stefan Urquelle (because Stefan had all the "hoes").
- Also, that evil, smooth twin has an English accent because us girls can’t resist them.
3. They have three cell phones and two facebook accounts for easier cheating access.
4. They eat alot of Twix. (Get it? No? Okay. lol)
5. Cheating men secretly studied abroad at Hogwart's for a semester. They are now wizards and know all spells that will help in their cheating ways.
*Bedazzling Hex: Conceals a person or object.
-So if their girlfriend comes home early, they can always hide the other chick with ease.
*Gemino Charm: Creates duplicates of a person.
-You can be two places at one time...TENDER!
*Obliviate: Used to hide a memory of a particular event.
-No trust issues here. If you cheated in the past, your girlfriend doesn't remember.
*Confundus Charm: Causes confusion and forgetfulness.
-Similar to “Obliviate”
*Jelly-Brain Jinx: Affects persons' mental process.
-Confused girlfriend = happy penis
*Cheering Charm: Causes person to become very happy and content.
-Turns that suspecting, irritated girlfriend into a happy-go-lucky hobo.
*Orchideous: Causes a bouquet of flowers to appear.
-If all else fails, remember this spell. Who doesn't like roses, right?

According to the Kinsey sex study, 50% of U.S. men cheat during some point in their marriage and 40% of men seek sexual satisfaction outside their relationships.
Those aren’t very good odds, so Leslie and I posed the million dollar question:
Why do men cheat?

And we got some very interesting and honest responses....

Men said:
*Responses to this million dollar question are always going to sound like ten-dollar answers.
*They get bored with their lady.
*For the simple fact that we feel as though we always have to strive for something else when Ms. Right is right there.
*There is an inadequacy in the relationship, or an over-whelming element in a relationship.
*Sorry, I tried but I couldn’t come up with a reason. Everything sounded like an excuse and there is definetly no excuse for cheating.
*Refer to Steve Harvey's book but also just watch men. We tell everything through our body language.
*No one can really verbally answer that question 100%. LOL.
*Men are logical and women are emotional so the unconnected physical act of pleasure that cheating often correaltes with are naturally going to be dominant in men.
*I think men cheat the same reason women cheat. Men are just the usual suspects.
*GREED...men/women are too greedy to sacrifice their LUST for the one they supposed to LOVE.
*I get bored. Sad to say but it takes a lot to keep my attention. I lose intrest kinda early so that’s why I have cheated.
*Trust issues.
*I guess niggas gon be niggas
*Because the opportunity is there.
*Men cheat for the reason that they feel they need to conquer every woman that they see its more of a sport or a thrill to them.
*Out of perceived boredom and forgetting why you're with your woman.
*Most of the time cuz they're horny; they want to see if they can get that certain girl at that moment. Dumb but the truth.
*Easy; physical accessibility.
*A man cheats to feel like he's winning in a relationship.
*Men are so greedy and never satisfied.
*Validation, insecurities, selfishness, the rush, lust, boredom.

Women said:
*Refer to Steve Harvey’s book. There is an entire chapter on it!
*For sex.
*I think for some it's just a habit and for others I think they do it cuz at that moment they are not really thinking bout the outcome!
*They cant control their sexual urges.
*They're greedy and can get away with it.
*I think it's b/c sometimes they want to have their cake & eat it too! Also I think some are confused as to what they want.
*They feel as if they can have their cake and eat it too; thinkin they can do whatever it is they want with no regard or respect for the person they are with.
*I gotta few one worders...
1. Boredom
2. Alcohol
3. Availability/Unavailability(Distance)
4. Curiosity
5. Challenging/Easy
*Because they are stupid! Lol And don’t appreciate good women.

All good answers but my favorite has to be from my niggy Dar-rel who responded:
“I do because I’m trying to get an A on the test…don’t you?”
lmao! Touche Dar-rel!

But here are the Top 10 “official” reasons according to askmen.com:
10. Your lady doesn't put out
9. She cheated on you
8. It's challenging and exciting
7. You can get away with it
6. It boosts your ego.
5. The opportunity was there.
4. Your girlfriend is a nag.
3. Women let us (quick to forgive)
2. She doesn't turn you on anymore
1. You don't love her anymore

All in all, I understand that no one is perfect and all relationships have their downfalls, but some things make no sense to me.
If you aren’t happy in your relationship or if cheating becomes a regular thing, why stay in the relationship?
Yes, men may want to have the support of a girlfriend and the sexual freedom of a single man but baby, you can’t have your cake and eat her, I mean, “it” too. ha

We are young.
We should be having fun.
Aren’t you sick of being paranoid and having to delete those texts?
If you can’t commit, don’t.
Be a bachelor and then have all the fun you want without that guilty aftertaste in the morning.

I’m just saying.

Leave a comment and give me your thoughts; I'm interested.


  1. ahaha.....i love the clearance aisle. This my friend is a classic read! omg i agree, in the past i've pondered this same questions WHERE THE HELL do they find the time LMAO? its bananas!!, like i give some of these cats out here REAL props cuz they are on they harry potter like no other. Sad story, i can't tell you how many po pimp, negros wit a girl, a girl and kids, engaged, whatever try to come at me...ummm no deal? matter fact I JUST bust one out on my fb wall that tried to get the digits AND status clearly "in a relationship with "moesha" lol...and fb is public...:/ this is gettin outrageous. Kudos man, this is real life out here.

  2. Thanks girl!
    Its real life indeed! lol
    Your comment was a classic read...hella funny.

  3. Two thumbs up on the post Jai!
    Men and women cheat, but men are terrible at lying. You're right about the extra fb accounts and the 3 cell phones, lol.
    IMO, cheating is sooo time consuming for women. Like i got shit to do, what the fuck am i doing being with numerous dudes. But dudes, they FIND the time to do so. Nothing is time consuming to them if they get some extra ass. Your last words about why be in a relationship if you wanna do your own thing... I 100% AGREE! Never made sense to me. Like if you don't wanna be with the broad then drop her. And women are too acceptable of their significant others cheating. "But i love him" "It was a one time mistake" "He said sorry and he won't do it again" all those excuses to me are BULLSHIT!!!!!!! And I am def def allergic to bullshit. I caught my baby father cheating, and i dropped his ass in a heart beat. I DON'T BUSINESS if she threw her crotch on your dang!